Well the one thing we all have on our hands right now is time. So I picked up some art supplies and tried my hand at painting. My life right now is all about discovery, trying new things, and expressing myself. Well judging by the final product I created, it's safe to say that I am not the world's next Vincent van Gogh. However, I will not let it get me down, I'll just keep trying new things until I find what makes me happy! Truth be told, the hour I spent "painting" was definitely a nice escape from the craziness we are all going through right now. However, I do want to take this time to explain the message my painting was trying to portray.
I've spent so much of my previous life living in the darkness. I hated myself, I've contemplated suicide multiple times, long story short, I was not ok. I was at a war with myself every single day. I couldn't think of one single thing that made me happy. I was sad, and I was sad all the time. Even people close to me did not anyways know the true story. At times, I do believe people thought I was just pouting or seeking out attention when I would open up the slightest. Some, I do believe, even thought I was guilt tripping them into spending time with me. This is partially true, but also the furthest thing from it. I did go overboard in my efforts for companionship but only because I was afraid what would happen to me when i was by myself.
The bottom half of my painting was my effort to show that darkness that I was living in. It is filled with the negative connotations that clouded my brain on a daily basis. Most of this ill will was all geared towards myself although I did let it spill out and affect those closest to me.
I painted the yin yang in the center of my artwork because I now know life is all about balance of both dark and light, good and bad. My balance was off, I only saw the dark. My life had no light.
This journey has been all about me moving forward and trying to finally experience the light. This is the reason why the colorful section of my painting takes up more than just its allotted half. I've lived in the dark for so long and it is finally time I live in the light. I intend to live in the brightest light possible to make up for all the lost time I suffered through. I need to live LIFE again. I need to LOVE not only myself, but all of those who decided to stick by me during this journey. I need to find my PEACE. I need to find my zen and live a life more of tranquility as opposed to just trying to keep my mind occupied through the business and clutter daily life can bring. I need to continue to MOVE FORWARD and LOOK UP, I need to change like the BUTTERFLY and allow my soul to become beautiful. My life doesn't have to be the tragedy I portrayed it to be for so long. Most importantly I just need to find a reason to SMILE.
Thanks for reading! I hope you continue to stick with me and help guide me through my adventure. DM for any custom artwork or if you'd like to buy prints of my masterpiece 🤣🤣🤣
I promise to live in the light!
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