EGO

As the old adage goes, today i went for a walk to clear my head.  This wasn't just any normal walk though, I took advantage of my current situation and took a hike throughout an absolutely stunning State Park that covers 2,546 acres of some of the most beautiful landscapes this city boy has ever had the privilege of seeing.  I climbed, sweated, and even slipped in mud as I traveled through this carved out piece of nature.  I mostly stayed along the trail but as is life, I few times I did go off the path and found my own way along the journey.  Just like like.

MASKS

Masks

Staring at these four walls, I'm losing my mind.

I'm losing reality; the concept of time

I lost my job, I have no place to be

Just left stuck with the demons inside of me

ACCOUNTABILITY

Why do I write? I can see the numbers and truth be told there aren't a lot of people reading this.  No knock on anybody who is, but I know this isn't must read material that I am spewing.  If you are reading, thank you.  If I have helped you in anyway I'm super pumped! That's awesome, but today, between my 90 minute bike ride and hour long yoga session, I began to gather clarity.  I need to write for me.  Just like everything in my life, I need to do it for myself.  I need to continue this exercise so that I can hold myself accountable for my actions.  These past few days have been a true mixed bag of emotions...

BIRTHDAY

Depression is stuck thinking about your past experiences, and thus not allowing things to ever get better.  Anxiety is when you are always worrying about the future and the what if, and tends to cloud your mind constantly.  Life takes place in the now and that's the best way you can live it.  I've adopted meditation, yoga, and a multitude of zen principles in my life.  My mind has never been clearer.  My mind has allowed me to begin to transform my body into what it could be, what it should be.  My mind and body transformational progress I am making has allowed my soul to become pure.  I am happy.  I've lost 20 pounds in the past few weeks and overall feel great! I have struggled with my attempts at quitting smoking but I am ready to give it another go and make sure this time it sticks for good.  I have indulged in a few alcoholic beverages recently, but I am only drinking about once-twice a week, which is a HUGE improvement seeing as not that long ago I drank myself to sleep every night.  Life cannot be better right now.  I have no complaints.  I am at peace.  I am at one with myself.

DEPTH

After my most recent therapy session (SHOUT TO MY THERAPIST IF YOU'RE READING!!), she left me with a word, like she has been doing lately and that initially inspired this blog.  My word at the end of this session was depth.  Well, let's get fucking deep...