Showing posts with label pandemic. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pandemic. Show all posts

Saturday, April 11, 2020

CELEBRATION


I have written so much about my past, negative experiences.  I have written so much about moving on, letting go, and my hoping to keep becoming better.  I have written so much about both the past and the future, but today i would like to live in the moment.  Today's blog entry will be about the present.  The present really can be a present.

My therapy session a few days ago left me with the world "Celebration." Usually I like to write about my word the day I get it.  Usually the word strikes a nerve with me and I am able to write about it for hours.  However, this word was different.  The word has such a positive connotation that even in my new found, upbeat, happy as fuck attitude I've adopted, it was still a tough word for me to write about.  I've always been hard on myself, I've found it weird when others were happy for me, maybe it was only because I wasn't happy for myself, like ever.  Just recently, when having a conversation with a friend who said she was proud of me, was I able to actually accept that for the first time in my life.  I used to think that was such a weird AF statement to tell someone, like what exactly is there to be proud of.  Again, this was because I wasn't proud of myself.  Now, when i was told this, it actually felt good to hear.  And that is a reason to celebrate!

Friday, March 27, 2020

WEEKEND


During this time, the days have blended together. I was reminded that today was Friday only because I had to get my paycheck. Last weekend, I broke. I found it as an excuse to let my problem with alcohol run wild. I will not drink by myself again this weekend. I will not.
For the first time, I've recently discovered how amazing life can be. I drank to rid myself of my problems and only created more. I initially did not take this pandemic serious and viewed it as nothing more than a built in excuse for people to avoid me. Lives have been lost, countless others are ill. This situation is bigger than me and I understand it now. I wish everybody the best! 
If you are reading this and have some time to kill during this quarantine, please read my last post and let me know what you think. 

I am getting better but can only take it one day at a time.

INTRO


Hey world! I've never blogged before but during this pandemic we are in right now, I figured I'd have some extra time on my hands so it might be a good time to start.
I have already typed something I want to share, so feel free to follow, comment, whatever it is the bloggers do while I'll go on this journey to discover the meaning of happiness for me.